for Nuile
jongkey, PG-13, fluff
( words stuck )
the one thing you like about mornings is him.
he will come to your room just a minute after he wakes up.
and you will try to catch him with your wobbly hands (though you are still sleeping) and if you try hard enough he is here in your arms for 5 more morning moments
humming something he calls 'songs' into your slumber,
kissing your cheekbones,
brushing your ears,
searching for your wrist while waiting when you wake up
and husk what suddenly comes to his mind.
today it's curious "you know it worked even with a sleeping beauty" and now you remember what was this warm feeling on your lips at the last moment before you finally crack open your eyes.
blur blur blur. jonghyun's satisfied grin. the crunch of bed. your groan.
he leaves before you with an effort make your mouth open for "love you". and now it is making you restless.
naaah~
you angrily draw on your socks cause you know he won't come for the second time so you can't lie in this warm bed and pretend you are still sleeping.
you meet him again in the bathroom, he doesn't say a word. just moves to the side giving place to you.
when you brush your teeth you are looking at his reflection. he is looking at yours too, squinting.
you wanna kiss the corner of his grin but here is a stupid toothbrush stuck in your mouth.
fuck it. fuck. it.
and there the routine morning goes with good morning's and breakfast with boys, lame jokes and sleepy faces,
with jinki's happy and too-loud-for-9am voice, with minho's thoroughly studying of world cup shedules
with taemin's 'i'll take it? you aren't eating anyway'.
with him.
later in his room when he takes off his home shirt to change you will luckily catch the moment, snuggling up to his bare back.
"give me that mm --" you are dabbing with your finger at the open wardrobe. and here -- bang! right in your head. why so goddamn smooth, why so tenderly warm umh~. all you want is to whimper. you suddenly can't think straight and forget how to speak and what to say and what you actually want.
"here" the quiet smile tinges his voice when he is handing over the shirt you want.
your lips is already brushing the back of his neck instinctively searching for his ear to let these two words that stuck in your head drop when he turns around.
you shudder when his hands carelessly grazes your hips, moving you gently to the side, staying there a bit longer than it's needed.
your hands dangle gloomily along your sides crumpling useless shirt.
you don't really wanna go shopping, but he goes to his damned gym again so what.
you buy something you know you won't wear, send dozens of sms to all of your friends and so-called friends too to kill this uneasy emptiness coming on.
you are coming back home unsafe way secretly hoping to find some troubles on your ass.
you are angy. at him. at you.
he catches you at the very entrance grabbing your waist, smiles. you hear he's panting from running.
elevator. his questions about your boughts. your grumbling instead of an answer. your floor finally. his hands are still on your waist.
the ftat is dark and soundless and he takes you to your room, says he's tired.
bed crunches under his weight. you turn around and look at him for long.
words stuck in your throat and you are angry at him again cause he makes you so.
'come here' you read on his lips.
he outlines lovingly the arc of your ear, whispers how beautiful you are, how he loves you.
and you can't say it again.
you regret you can't be as easy as he is.
it's like 'danger' is ringing inside your ears but you can't help.
you press your palms to his warm back under his shirt, close your eyes.
you have only 3 days at halves before comeback.